Tip of the Week – Communicating at a deeper level

Wonder why you and your husband aren’t intimately close? It’s not that hard to pinpoint.

The level of communication you have with each other equals a major part of your level of intimacy with each other.

Great communication takes effort and vulnerability. Gary Chapman, in his book, Now You’re Speaking My Language, mentions there are 5 levels of communication, but

Unfortunately, most couples never get beyond level 1 or 2 in their entire marriage.

This brings to mind John 10:10, ” the thief comes to kill. steal and destroy, and i have come to give you life and give it to you abundantly.” God designed marriage to be abundant, and the level of communication we have in our marriage plays a major role in this.

The five levels of communication from Now You’re Speaking My Language, :

Level 1 = Hallway Talk
             “Fine, how are you?”
Level 2 = Reporter Talk
             ” Just give me the facts” – This involves only the facts: who, what, when, where
Level 3 = Intellectual Talk
             ” Do you know what I think?” – This goes beyond facts to sharing opinions, interpretations or judgments
                about the matter
Level 4 = Emotional Talk
              ” Let me tell you how I feel” – This is where we share our emotions about things
Level 5 = Loving, Genuine Truth Talk
              ” Let’s be honest” – This is the apex of communication. This level is the platform upon which we can build a 
                 healthy marriage with a high degree of intimacy

Don’t miss the nuggets in this book!



Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs

Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs are authors, speakers, and Biblical counselors, not LPC's. Their writings include the widely used book I Do Again, which chronicles their thirty-year story of marriage, betrayal, infidelity, divorce, emotional damage and scarring, forgiveness, reconciliation, trust, and remarriage to each other. Jeff and Cheryl are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries in Dallas. They speak at conferences and weekend worship services in churches across the nation, sharing their love story of hope, redemption, restoration, and God taking hold of their lives. See their website: www.hopeformarriages.com.

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