Relax! Enjoy! Get your focus right…

It has been a while since I have posted! Sorry followers…..
One of our daughters got married at the end of October and I am finally getting caught up. It was a beautiful experience planning a wedding and watching our little girl join a wonderful man in a one-flesh union. Wow, am I really that old?

I sit here today contemplating the holidays coming upon us, and am excited to experience these for another year. But as I sit here,  I reflect back to when my girls (twins, by the way, and now 22) were in 7th grade. Every year, up until then, I had great intentions of making the holidays a special time and enjoying all the cooking and baking. But the stress of it all grabbed me by the throat yet one more time that year. Earlier in the week I had done all the grocery shopping with a smile on my face. By Thanksgiving Day I was all stressed out, the embers of anger igniting as the day progressed. I was ruining the day, AGAIN, for my family….” Nobody is helping me, again!!”, I internally smoldered. It was this day that changed my life and outlook on what is important during the holidays, forever.

That day I was hit over the head! My girls came up to me and asked if they could help. I mumbled something, but didn’t give them an answer. I was sulking, thinking they were all having a good time, and I was doing all the work. After all, I got up so early to put the turkey in! They tried again, and I impatiently gave them something to do like set the table, mix the green bean casserole or get the water glasses. Well this time, they confronted me……and said “Mom, do you ever just have fun and laugh during the holidays?”. I fell to my knees, tears welled up in my eyes. It hit me, HARD. I was focused on all the wrong stuff? Could I have a different attitude and spirit about all of this? Why did it have to be so stressful? It didn’t……and it was me, the one who deep down always wanted to create the warmth of a home.

That Thanksgiving Day was different……my heart changed. I realized what was important. And it was not my “to do list”. It was the deeper things… family, enjoying a cup of coffee together, cooking together and enjoying the blessings in our lives.

The next day I went out and bought three aprons from Anthropoligie for both girls and myself. We wear them every year! This year our newly married one will bring her special dishes from her home and wear her special apron when she gets here.

Happy Thanksgiving……remember what to focus on………the food will be fine, and the table perfect.

Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs

Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs are authors, speakers, and Biblical counselors, not LPC's. Their writings include the widely used book I Do Again, which chronicles their thirty-year story of marriage, betrayal, infidelity, divorce, emotional damage and scarring, forgiveness, reconciliation, trust, and remarriage to each other. Jeff and Cheryl are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries in Dallas. They speak at conferences and weekend worship services in churches across the nation, sharing their love story of hope, redemption, restoration, and God taking hold of their lives. See their website:

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Pam

    I can totally relate. Its so easy to get wrapped up in the hustle bustle of the holidays. Thanks for reminding me to slow down and smile and enjoy every second of this holiday season even if things aren't exactly as I would like them.

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