Just finished “Broken Heart on Hold”

I have finally finished Linda Rooks book, Broken Heart on Hold. One thing I read the other day, has stuck with me. When our spouse wrongs us, we usually get angry in the process, right? So what if we have a shift in thought, and instead of getting angry, pray instead?

Here is a paraphrase from her book: “When your spouse wrongs you and your anger rises up against them, praying for them may be the last thing you feel like doing. But that is one of Satan’s deceptions. He uses feelings and anger to help justify you in relinquishing your spouse to the darkness of Satan’s snare. If your spouse is entangled in sin, you cannot rescue them. Your words will not convince them. But God can. And you can be the instrument to unleash God’s mighty power and squash Satan”s hold on the spouse you are united to in marriage.”

Sometimes when we are in pain in a relationship, Satan keeps our mind occupied with his thoughts and his ways. Let’s fight against him, ok? Let’s live by the powerful, living, breathing Word of God!


Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs

Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs are authors, speakers, and Biblical counselors, not LPC's. Their writings include the widely used book I Do Again, which chronicles their thirty-year story of marriage, betrayal, infidelity, divorce, emotional damage and scarring, forgiveness, reconciliation, trust, and remarriage to each other. Jeff and Cheryl are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries in Dallas. They speak at conferences and weekend worship services in churches across the nation, sharing their love story of hope, redemption, restoration, and God taking hold of their lives. See their website: www.hopeformarriages.com.

This Post Has 32 Comments

  1. The Hafts Happenings

    Cheryl, thank you for sharing this sooooo good. and so true. Of course I have read your book, and now will be getting, "Broken Heart On Hold" Thankful for your ministry.Marlo Haft

  2. Stephen Anthony

    This was a very timely post for me this evening. Met with my spouse for three hours today. Her resolve to divorce is so strong. My resolve to try to listen to God and do His will completely is becoming stronger through prayer. Give all, expect nothing seems to define unconditional love. Loving my spouse now is giving it all and expecting nothing but rather allowing the space to have God enter into her heart through the Holy Spirit. I will pick up this book to read. Thank you for your ministry.

  3. Lori S

    can't wait to get the book, ordered it last week online…. thank you for your comments, I am axactly in that sitution where my husband is living on his own, and totally entangled in sin and I am so furious and frustrated I just want to give up and let him go. I am looking forward to the encouragement.

  4. Greg

    After your previous post about this book, I decided to buy it. It came in the mail on Tuesday. I plan on starting to read it soon. God's perfect timing too, because today I received the possible final draft of the divorce decree. In this, though, I have truly felt God's perfect peace. It really does pass any understanding that I have. He is doing amazing things in me and I am thankful for that, no matter what the status of my marriage is. Although it may be legally over soon, I will not lose hope of one day being restored to her, and I Do Again has played a very big role in me getting to this place. Thanks again for everything you do and for being used by God in so many inspiring and encouraging ways.

  5. Alicia

    This is so TRUE, and I have a major shift in the past week. This week, I did get angry, but I am angry at Satan and what he's done to our home! Instead of being angry at my spouse, I'm angry at the one who causes destruction, the Enemy! But he is deceiving and he wants us to get angry at our spouses because it fuels hate and rage. Well, no more! I refuse to be a part of his schemes of destruction. I refuse to let Satan have our marriage.Where there are lies, I will speak the truth. Where there is hatred, I will sow love. If my spouse is believing lies, then I am praying the truth over him. And I find, the more I pray for my spouse as his one-flesh mate, the more I realize we're on the same side. I have more compassion, love, mercy, grace and an urgency for redemption for us individually and as a couple. God is the One who will restore, we don't know how but we know the One who makes all things new.Rise up brothers and sisters, and fight the good fight of faith! Read Psalm 18, a Warrior Psalm.

  6. Anonymous

    My heart is so broken right now. I have been believing for a reconciliation with my ex husband for so long. I truly believed that this is what God wanted for us. I read "I do again" and gave it to him. He said that he would read it. I just found out that he recently got married in secret with someone else. I kept this from me. He even introduced our children to her and told me nothing. I can't stop crying about this and I keep asking God why? I prayed and fasted and even thought that I heard from him 3 times concerning this situation. I don't know if it is denial, but there is still a apart of me that still feels like I need to pray for us. I am extremely confused right now. Any comments or prayers for me would be welcomed. God Bless.

  7. Anonymous

    Hi Im so sorry to hear that. Can I ask how God spoke to you those three times? Have you read broken heart on hold also? It's greAt. I love the chapter that talks about giving all thE details up to God and Emotionally letting go. It your ex has remarried you need to let go emotionally. God still has your situation in His hands and He will still use it for your best. I wouldn't ask God too many why questions. Maybe once or twice, believe He heard you, believe He will communicate something with you regarding your question in His timing, trust that If you have given this situation over to Him that He is in control and know that He is a good and faithful God. I've heard different things about what to do when one person remarries. I'm not 100% sure where I stand but I do know that God has a unique plan for you which requires Trust and obedience. I remember asking myself where I was putting my hope, in my Marriage reconcilliation or in God. I miss my husband, but my hope is in God. So if God says He will bring it all back together then I have learned tosimply believe that without asking too many how's and why's. And I know Gods voice because Its Gods voice that I despeately long for. Honestly, I could take or leave my husband, don't get me wrong I love him with my whole heart, and i miss him everysingle day. But I'm convinced that love has been given to me from God. I do long for my husband, but more than that I long for my Jesus. And its usually in worship wen I hear God encouraging me, guiding me, correcting me in regards to Everything especially my marriage. I think God definetly can reunite two people after divorce and even after remarriage. I don't know if God says to anyone to get a divorce in order to go back to ur firs wife. Infact that contradicts scripture. I know people make reference to Deuteronomy and say that it is forbidden by God to return to a wife after she has been remarried because there is a new covenant between husband and New wife. But God does stand outside of time so if He tells you that, maybe something will happen in the future to deteriorate the marriage? I have no idea I'm purely speculating I'm not qualified to speak on that, all I know is if your hope is in God alone, then u will never ever be let down and your in a place to stay tight with Him.

  8. Anonymous

    Thank you for your response. It was helpful. To answer your question, several things happened to, in my opinion cause me to believe in a reconciliation. It may sound weird depending on what you believe but I got four prophetic words over a four year period. The church that I attended at the time would have yearly conferences with different speakers. I during those conferences I received words that encouraged me. After our divorce, I prayed, fasted and asked God to lead me and tell me what I should do. The first time I heard something was after I had prayed and fasted. I found out that he had been seeing someone. I was so discouraged I prayed for guidance. I heard a voice inside say, "You have put him before me. I am God and God alone there is none besides me. Seek pursue and find and I will give you the desires of your heart". I immediately repented for putting him first. That was never my intention. I began to try my best to focus on God alone. The second time was after I had taken my ring off. I was getting ready to go somewhere and all of a sudden I felt that I should pick it up. I sat on my bed and asked God to tell me what I should do with it. I said I feel like a fool. What will my family say about this? I heard "We walk by faith not by sight".I thought that was God encouraging me to put the ring on, so I did.The third time, I was praying and feeling so discouraged with everytihing and I asked God again, am I doing the right thing? And I heard "You have the victory:. Because the voice was so faint, I asked again Lord was that really you? and I heard again "Thus says the Lord you have the victory". I truly believed that we would be together again. But after I found out that he got married, I was half way asleep and heard "Watch what you say about them, it will come back to you. I know you love him but your love must go on". That really confused me. How could I hear one thing, then something else. I just found out about this a 1.5 months ago. It feels like I just found out.

  9. Anonymous

    Dear Broken Heart,I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I pray God will continue to lead and guide you. In my own journey, I have continued to search the scriptures for God's heart about how He feels about divorce. I never imagined I would find myself on this journey, but here I am, a fellow sojourner trying to find out the truth. I have come to believe that God's truth is truth no matter what the world or our culture says. If you are remaining faithful to your husband, your covenant still stands. It does not matter if he remarries one or ten other people. If you are keeping your marriage covenant made before God as the witness, your covenant is blessed by God. You and your husband entered into a covenant for better or worse until death ends the marriage. Since you are both still alive and breathing, covenant is still alive!There is a wonderful testimony I recommend by a couple Andy & Sandra Andrews who were restored 10 years later after a divorce and 2nd marriage. You can hear their testimony on the Rejoice Marriage Ministries website under "Conference Calls." They also have a cd you can purchase which is excellent. A true story of a prodigal, God's Soverein Love, and a couple that God healed after "impossible circumstances." I also encourage you to get ahold of some of the material of a ministry called Covenant Keepers. Check out their website. There are others in the church who have been through the same thing, and now have restored marriages. God is the ultimate Covenant Keeper, and always keeps His promises no matter who or what we run to. I am so glad His love never fails. I pray peace, hope, faith, and encouragement to you.

  10. Anonymous

    I'm glad that it helps you. Thanks for sharing those thing with me. It all does not sound or bit weird. Ido believe that the persuit of reconcilliation can turn into a very selfish persuit. I do think that God can 100% reconcilled the two of you. I really do. But I also do think it's a mistake to think that just because you made that covenant that God is 100% going to reconcile you. If it were that straight forward you probably wouldn't need to lean on and rely on God daily for His guidance and direction. I have been married before and God did not reconcile me to my former husband. I was far from Christ then, although the Holy Spirit was persuing me. I am now seperatedfrom my second husband. I do not believe that God is holding me to my covenant with my first abusive husband. I think the thing is, to let God speak to you. If He tells you that, then believe Him. If you seek Him, He willnot lead you into confusion. Give the whole situation to God. Every journey is so different. Your journey is about your relationship with God. I find the best way to hear God is when I really do approach Him as a little child. Lay aside all of your motives, as the Holy Spirit to guide you into Truth, believe that He will, surrender your whole marriage, your whole life to God, be humble under his mighty hand and then you are in the best position to hear His voice. And then His peace will rest on you. If God asks you to do something then He will enable you to do it. Do you trust Him? As for your prophecies, I think that's great. Where they specifically about your marriage? Or where they about you, your healing etc? I don't know you, but my heart does go out to you. I'm just giving u my advice, but the most important thing is to get humble and get before God, underneath His masssive migggghtttyy amazing kind and gracious hand, and give it all up to Him… Then let Him guide you. I believe He will. If you draw close to Him he will draw close to you. He just will

  11. Anonymous

    You don't know how awesome this is to me. I really have no one to talk to concerning this issue. Everyone around me expects me to move on, and to some extent I wonder if I should. I love him so much, it so hard to let go. Especially when the devil torments me with thoughts about them being together. From what I hear she is a Christian woman and gorgeous. I met him when I just turned eighteen, and he is the only man I had every been with. I had gone to the alter at church for prayer for my Mom. My Pastor at the time said to me "The person you are with is not for you". I was so heart broken and I immediately broke up with him. We both cried about it, but couldn't stay away from each other. We got married two years later and had a wonderful life together (at least I thought). I would periodically wonder about that word because he was such a good man. He provided for me and our two children. Then after seventeen years of marriage he said it was over. Just like that. I hurt because I wonder if somehow I have blew it with him and now my ship has sailed. I keep asking God if he is gone forever because I did not listen to my Pastor so long ago. I wonder if somehow I am being punished for not listening. I am so sorry, but at the same time I want so much for God to forgive me and bring us together again. To answer your question about the other prophetic words that I received were words that "I" believed encouraged me. For instance, "The Lord would say to you my daughter there is a promise and a desire you have something in the past and the Lord said I'm going to bring that back something that you lost, I'm going to bring it back and you're going to know that it's me and it's gonna bring your faith to a new level. And the Lord is gonna kind of give that little bump out of where you had some discouragement kind of held you back and kept you from moving into you're destiny". That's not the whole word. I know it verbatim because it was recorded. I guess it could be interpreted in different ways, but that is an example. I have had dreams after fasting and my sister had a dream about him and did not even know that he was leaving me. I have had people pray for reconciliation and tell me that they felt in their spirit that my prayer would be answered. All of this gave me such hope. And now I am just a ball of confusion. How could he get married so fast? My heart was so heavy that I could not praise. THis Sunday however, I was able to lift my hands and praise the Lord regardless. My pain is severe but I will do my best to put my Lord first. He is all I have. I just wish that I could definitively know what to do. O.K. I said a lot but thank you so much for responding.

  12. Anonymous

    That's ok. I totally understand. First thing is tho, that God has forgiven you. As soon as you ask Him He does forgive you. Do u believe that? Because I think u need to in Order to hear from Him. Your right things are open to interpretation, but I do believe God will make it clear to you. I just wonder how close are you to God? Are you following Him as if He is your breath and you water and your bread and are you desperate for Him? Do you know that no matter what happens in your marriage, God has a plan for your good! And do you realise how much He loves you? If you think how much you love your ex and multiply that infinetly… That's how much… I find that confusion does not come from God. Sometimes Ive found it to be my self preservation, my fleshly desires, my pride (in trying to understand everything)… Could that be the same for you? Or sometimes it's from the Enemy… I know I have definetly had seeds of confusion sewn by enemy

  13. Anonymous

    You know what? It's interesting that you have said that about making Him my everything because for so long that is exactly what I thought I did. One of those words that I got said "You have focused on your marriage too much, trust in God He will save him work on yourself". I thought wow! work on myself? O.K. that's what I'll do. I repented to God, attended small groups, went to therapy, volunteered @ church fasted and prayed and sought God with everything. I think that getting this devastating news about my ex just really wounded me. I feel defeated. I know that God knows the beginning from the end and I just thought that He would give me the victory in my restoration. I can say that my response to the news surprised me though. I truly fell a part. I thought that I would be one of those people to say "To God be the glory no matter what". But I didn't I cried to God and said "I feel like you have let me down Lord, why?" Even though I knew inside that He didn't, I couldn't help myself. Of course I repented but that has shown me that I have such a long way to go with Him. Do you feel pain about this everyday? When you do, do you praise, read the Bible, pray or all three? I found that @ times the pain in my heart was so bad that I didn't know what to pray so I would pray in the Spirit. So much has happened over the past four years it has been such a painful journey. I really do need to clean the slate with God and dig deep into how I really see Him. I have been playing the same recording over and over again since I found out; thoughts of inadequacy regret and fear and I am tired of it. I want God first, which will bring peace then hopefully my marriage.I have been on the Rejoice Marriage site and will continue to listen to the messages. My hope is that God will let me know whether I should pursue standing and believing for reconciliation or to move on. I have not read "Broken Heart Hold On" I'm thinking of going to the Christian Bookstore to get it. Much love-

  14. Anonymous

    Ummm…. Some days are more painful than others…. I would say it's exceptionally painful cicumstaces but I would also say it's the most productive time of my life. I can look back over the last two years and see how God has used it to really change me at my very core and to teAch me an amazing trust which I had never ever known before. In answer to your question, sometimes the pain has been so intense I can recall laying in bed not wanting to get out and sobbing, not wanting to pray or read my bible… Yeah I have been unfaithful at times, but God has always wooed me back to Him and each time showing me things hidden in my heart… Wether that be a lack of trust or an unforgiving attitude or pride etc…. To be honest it's been an absolute roller coaster… But Im learning so much. I do know that God will reconcile my marriage, but like everyone else here I guess I don't have much proof. But that's what Faith is. I guess to me, I just want God, if I have to be single my whole life then so be it, I would rather that than be without God. The Holy Spirit is my very best friend and No one has ever loved me like Jesus has, does. So What Im trying to get at is, as much as I absolutely love my husband, If God for whatever reason (assuming that He is soveriegn over all) does not reconcile us, then so be it. I miss Him like crazy, but Jesus is more real than my own best friend so I don't think I have anything to worry about. BUT It does get extremely painful at times, but I also know that Jesus crys with me. So in response to your comment, you should know that without a doubt you will be able to stand and give God the glory for what He is has done in your life. I saw the rejoice ministries home page. I see how that can be really encouraging, but for me personally, I think it is a mistake to say that you are bound by covenant to yor first husband even tho you are remarried. I think it's in duet??Anyway Ive read stuff from differen awesome men of God, Mark Driscoll John Piper, it's debatable and quite complex. But I do think God is the God of impossible things and I know He can restore anything. I also know He will guide you in truth. I just think follow Jesus, hang out with the Holy Spirit let Him talk to you… He is our gift from Jesus… He is the spirit o Truth! And Peace! Comfort! Helper! You might not know alot of things right now, I guess like alot of us, but you DO know that God WILL use this for YOUR good. You have to know that.

  15. Anonymous

    Also definetly get broken heart on hold. There are amazing principles in there about surrendering your marriage to God. Reference your word, about focusing too much on your marriage. I can totally relate, I remember being in worship and the Holy Spirit saying to me "ur husband has become an idol" I was thinking "what?! Nooooo…." but it was true. God was right… Funny enough 🙂 As for my first marriage God saved me, but not that marriage. I think it's so important to give up any concieved rights that we have. For instance my right to have my husband back, my right to have him remain faithful to me dhrig seperation, my right to be loved and cherished as the woman God created me to be. But the truth is we have no rights, all good things come as a gift from the Father. I god would graciously bestow my beloved husband back into my life, and if God is kind to protect our marriage bed, if God is kind to do what I have asked of Him, then how amazing!!! If not, I truely believe He has a better plan than what I can concieve. I truely believe He knows the future, He knows my heart and every fibre of my being, and he knows my husbands heart and every single process in his brain and every single area of my husbands heart. Places where I have no access to, things I bet my husband doesn't even know about. So if God says He will do it, then I just assume He must know whAt Hs talking about. And the times I hear Him say it are when I am truely surrendered to Him. I try and remember, Jesus actually did die… He didn't raise from the sleep… He died a brutual death… But how much good and how victorious was he after His death?!?!?!? 😀

  16. Anonymous

    O.K. I'll get the book. I really need to know how to emotionally let go. I need a good nights sleep. As far as hearing from God, I am, lets just say, cautious now. I thought I understood what God wanted me to do. I really believed that I heard from Him. I don't know if I can trust what I hear. I have always been told that you can test what you hear by A) checking whether it is supported by scripture. B) If it is edifying to your spirit. C) If it brings you closer to God. When I believed I heard God each time it was so faint. It was inside me but so quiet that I wasn't sure if it was God or me. If I hear that again, I'll question it. I don't want to sound whinny, but thats how I feel. It's like, I'm starting over again. When your so truly convinced of something no one can sway you, then a glass of cold water is thrown at your face; your defenses come out. My biggest prayer is that I can trust again. -M.J.

  17. Anonymous

    Oh I do feel so much for you. You must be so confused. I was wondering as well, that another way I know Im hearing from God is He is consistent. Sometimes when I give up, it's because I am inconsistent not Him. Also more importantly I guess I wonder what "fruit" it has produced in your life… This journey with God through seperation. I notice when I am obedient and yeilding to His word and the things He has spoken into my heart, Im not just waiting for my husband to return, the Holy Spirit is producing fruit. Patience, humility, kindness, understanding. Things that honestly were severly needed in my life. Also scripture ofcourse, He talks through scripture. I have been praying for you. I hope that you can feels Gods peace again soon. I wish I could say I know what God is doing in your life and in your situation, all I know is God knows. I feel for you. I really do. I can't imagine how I would feel if I found out the same thing after waiting for ao long. I know what you mean by trusting what God says from now on. I think what would hurt the most is those sweet moments with God were all fabricated in my imagination. Because I am also very convinced. I would hate to think that hours of journalling and hours of Prayer hearing from God, having images and dreams and even a prophetic word, were all just me. That would hurt because those moments when God has spoken into my heart ahve Been the most intimate moments of my life. But I do think people can 100% let their desires get in the way from hearing from God, but Im also 100% convinced that God will bring us to a place where we no longer do that Phil 3:15 I totally believe that. Cling to Jesus, not your marriage Im convinced He will guide you into truth. But my heart does go out to you, and I have been asking God to help you. XO

  18. Anonymous

    Thank you so much for praying for me. You don't know how much it means to me. My life had been so happy prior to this; I had never been through any major hurt or trauma. This by far, has been truly traumatic. When you mention fruit I can say that even though I have struggled with God, I can see growth in my life. I have had to do things that I would normally rely on my ex to do. I have stepped out by faith in being a part of the Praise and Worship team at my old church (I moved to a different state). I was so afraid to do it, but I kept hearing "you know you should be up there" every Sunday. I have been raising my children on my own thank God for the support of my family. I have sought God in ways that I probably never would have if I had not been going through such pain. It's sad but true we lean on God more when things get tough. I went to bible study today and we did something interesting. We were asked to write down the things that we believe are getting in the way with our relationship with God. Then we went outside and put them in fire to burn. We had the option of explaining what our "issue" is. Of course I put my ex as one of the issues to give to God. When it came to putting it into the fire however, I had a difficult time. I eventually did it (I was one of the last people to do it though). I didn't feel quite ready to let it go. We then had prayer. It was very powerful. I know that God has a great work for me to do and I need to be fully healed in order to accomplish what He has for me. I pray that God will restore your relationship with your husband. Since you have grown so much in God your marriage will be better than before. Much love.M.J.

  19. Anonymous

    I will keep you in my prayers too. That sounds like a very timely activity at your bible study. I remember wrapping all the jewellrey my husband gave me Into a little box, I wrote a letter to God… And handed it over to Him. I think I sneaked it out a few times 🙂 But ultimately it was just between God and I. My life has been marked by rebellion, promiscuity abuse and other life dramas and then Jesus 😉 I prayed and believed God brought my husband and I together. I still believe that, my pain was more about the desperation that my life will always be a big old mess… That God would always hold me to the mistakes of my past, that because I left my first husband that I was never going to be blessed in my fAmily life. I'm past that now. But I feel for you because you hav had the carpet ripped from under you. Well atleast I can say that no matter the pain you feel God 100% has the victory and no matter what the pain Jesus hands are not tied, I promise God will work things out for good. I'm not sure what your relationship with God was like during those 17 years, I have no idea how close you are to God. But I do know that God is 100% in control. Let Him heal your hurting heart. XO

  20. Anonymous

    You know what? Even though my life with my ex was good, I have tremendous regrets hind sight 20/20. They come in like, memory flashes; should have done this or that. I hate that with a passion. My relationship with God during those 17 yrs. were different depending on our situation. For many years my ex and I attended church faithfully he was so faithful-a youth group leader. We prayed together and everything. We then moved to another country for four years and during that time it was difficult to find an English speaking church. When we returned to the U.S. my ex & I kind of got used to not going to church, but I always prayed read my bible and taught my child about the Lord and read the Bible to her. After that I felt the need to get back to church and did. My ex was not interested in joining me. We would actually get into arguments about that. I have consistently had a relationship with God, i think that the intensity fluctuated though. I can say that when he left me I relied on God on a whole new level.I have a question, when you met your husband, did you ask God whether he is the man that your supposed to be with? Like did you get confirmation from Him? Cause I struggle with that. I was so young and in love I thouht that's all we needed to survive. I was blinded by his loving and kind nature; I thought that he had to be the one.M.J.

  21. Anonymous

    Hi I did actually alot. And and I got alot of confirmation. Alot!!! Because I was so confused about relationships etc. And I was developing this relationshipwith God but I didn't know that much. I had sever trust issues… God kept saying yes though… I had no idea about Gods timing etc… I'm ashamed of the way I acted in order to protect myself from being hurt again. God has brought me such a long way, it's absolutely amazing to see how I reacted as a Hurt sinner as opposed to a hurt believer… I trust God absolutely, I know Him and Im not aftaid to obey Him anymore, actually I am afraid not to obey Him! My security in God and my trust in Him has literally sky rocketed! Amazing!!!! Jesus is amazing!!!!

  22. Anonymous

    In my opinion, that's big. I feel that if you got confirmation from God Almighty and you remain faithful to Him you can't go wrong. God will intervene with His outstretched arm and work a miracle for you. I know I ask a lot of questions, but I've always been this way; how long did it take you to get so confident? You seem so put together. Everyone tells me that because my ex has been the only person that I've been with; my first everything even down to my first real kiss that I am not used to breaking up with people. My heart has never been broken. I have not exercised that muscle yet, so it is harder for me that others. I found myself looking at the @ the Rejoice Marriage site today. I am conflicted about the whole thing. I will be fasting this Saturday seeking God for guidance. I ordered "Broken Heart on Hold" and finally got it today. My local christian bookstore liked it so much that they are now stocking it in the store. I hope it helps me and countless others. I'll give my opinion soon.Much love,M.J.

  23. Anonymous

    Hi that's awesome you got that book!!!! It is so encouraging!!!!! As for the rejoice website, I think is a great encouraging website too!!! I really do!!! I love the scriptures and the godly principles and the emphasis on forgiveness etc. Please don't get me wrong, I think it's fantastic. It's my opinion only here, that we have no "rights" that we can demand from God. God does not restore every marriage, he just does not. He does not heal every marriage. He does say in the old testament that when you remarry you are prohibited to return to your divorced wife, because it would make a mockery out of marriage. He said that the current commiment was to stand. Please don't read into that anymore than I have written, I don't think that means God can not rejoin you and your husband, and I know that God knows the future, who knows what the future holds? But Im just saying its in there… For you to look into and let the Holy Spirit guide you with. Mark driscoll does a sermon on divorce and remarriage… Also men and marriage and women and marriage… Should listen to it 🙂 How am I so "held together"? honestly every time I disobey God it does not work out in my favour. It's been through the fire that I have learnt to maintain peace at all times. The Holy Spirit is definetely accomplishing His work in me through this separation, and I was not always this stable at all. Even now I still battle the tendancy to doubt or to control the situation. I know whAt God is trying to accomplish in my life… To make me more like Jesus and to give me. Solid foundation of trust in Him teach me patience forgiveness… Knowing All of that does help me to remKn consistent. But sometimes and somedaysbare much much harder than others

  24. Anonymous

    Hello,Can you tell me where exactly in the Old Testament I can find scripture? I tried looking at all the scriptures concerning marriage but couldn't find it. M.J.

  25. Anonymous

    Hello,Can you tell me where exactly in the Old Testament I can find scripture? I tried looking at all the scriptures concerning marriage but couldn't find it. M.J.

  26. Anonymous

    Lev 20:10, Deut 24:1-4 , Mal. 2 But there are many marriages in the old testament we can learn from. Sarah and Abraham, Hosea and Gomer, AdamEve etc….. The debate about divorce and remariage is highly debateable. I have read alot of people who say that there is one covenant marriage which God binds us to untildeath. Which I do believe is the design for marriage, obviously. But I've just seen people get so legalistic about the persuit of reconcilliation. That God MUST bring him/her back that God wants the person who leaves and remarries to "forsake and turn back" to the covenant spouse. Sohow about if someone marries a divorcee, then she has a covenant with that divorcee and he has a covenant with his first wife. So neither of them are living in covenenant. Then the lady divorces her husband and marries another man, who she is now not in covenant with either because she is on covenant with her first husband?? All of this before either of them had become true flowers of Christ??? Who should divorce who to make sure they are not all adulterers ??? I think it is so important to seek God, and seek Him for Him. His Holy Spirit will guide you He will speak to you from His scripture and character. I do believe God hates divorce, and that everything must be done to honour and persue what God has made Holy but there are noguarantees. For me I think my persuit is more about God and I than my husband and I. If you follow Him and lay aside your agend. And rights your in the best place to hear from Him. I have studied what the bible says about marriage, but the book of Acts, Isaiah, Duet, Numbers, Philemon, James etc they have been key in my persuit. It's not all about me and my husband. It really isn't. Ps. I've been missing him alot lately :(… So I'm really pressing in to God

  27. Anonymous

    I know. Thant's my whole struggle. I know that this whole thing can become such a mess. I know that I can't make him come back to me unless he chooses to. Regardless of what happens I will always love the Lord. I will not turn from Him because I did not get my way. Thanks for the scripture reference. I will continue to seek God concerning this issue. I just feel so cheated. I think of how God is a God of restoration, why can't they just part ways amicably? I'm not hoping for either on of them to suffer. Christian or not she took him from me. I don't know how they met but the whole thing seems so wrong. I hear about these reconciliation stories and can't help but wonder why I could not be one of them. I went to the alter for prayer and happened to go right to a couple in my church that were divorced for nine years and remarried. And I wondered if God brought me to them for a reason (because my goal was to pray with someone else and I had no other choice to pray with them or be completely rude). They were so encouraging. I know how hard it is to miss your husband. I will pray that God comforts you. Much love.M.J.

  28. Anonymous

    Oh boy I do feel for you. It doesn't seem like a coincidence that you had gone to that couple for prayer. Are they both involved with marital/divorce counselling in your church? Perhaps you could speak with them. Even if they are not counsellors. I'm not sure what God is doing. I think it's unhealthy to see someone as taking your rightful husband from you. At the end of the day, he left you, no matter how wonderul or seductive another women, the offence started in your exs heart and at the end of his life, God will not charge his current wife with committing sin and abandoning you. The offence is between his heart and God, sadly against you too. It really is amazing and a testimony in itself the lack of biterness in u, and ur forgiveness. We don't have any rights to other human beings on this earth. I can totally understand why you wonder why they can't just part ways amicably. Try not to understand the situation with your mind though. Prov 3:5. Really, you must not think about strategies and analyse too much. That isn't trustif God and relying on Him. God knows exactly what He is doing. For whatEver reason, God has allowed this to happen to you. And He has allowed it for your good. As hard as it is to believe. He has. Maybe one day your story will be reconcilliation. Praying for you.

  29. Anonymous

    Actually, listen to the village church sermon on podcast, "ultimate authority". I think it may help 🙂 xo

  30. Anonymous

    I need to check, but I don't think my church has a marital counseling program. I never asked believe it or not:) I don't want to give the impression that I put all the blame on that woman. I always put the fault on my ex and I. I am just confused as to how someone could feel comfortable with helping end a marriage. It's interesting, my Pastor was talking about free will today; very interesting.Bad habit of mine-I over analyze until I have picked everything apart. I am have such difficulty with this. What's worse, people come to me and say oh you are so beautiful you should have no problem finding someone else. I just got a call from someone who wants to set me up with a guy. I want to throw-up just thinking about it. THey say the best way to get over him is to meet someone. Whatever! I'll take a look at the podcast. thanks.M.J.

  31. Anonymous

    The best way to get over anyone ex husband or not is Jesus… I've been dumped a million times and someone else is not the key 😉 I'm sure u know that xo

  32. Anonymous

    Yeah I know. It kinda puts pressure on me though. I don't think anyone around me understands what I'm going through. They have never dealt with it themselves.I had a dream last night that I went to a cleaners to have my wedding dress cleaned. My real dress got a spot on it and I guess in my dream I was trying to get it off. It always bothered me that I never cleaned it I was so cheap and I procrastinated getting it done. Well, in my dream not only did she get the stain out, but it was like more beautiful then I remembered. She only charged me about $45 and I remembered being so amazed and thankful. The lady asked me if I was married and I told her no and she seem to wonder why I would want to clean that wedding dress when I’m not married. I'm not sure what that dream is telling me but I forgot about it until I saw a David’s Bridal commercial on T.V. This morning and started to get emotional; the dream came to me instantly. It's funny how our minds work. I wasn't even thinking of my dress. I haven't thought about it in years. Anyway, much love.M.J.

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