Tips for Marriage…..

➢ Work hard at your marriage- so many couples today give up so quickly and don’t want to work hard. Attitude should be NO OUTS and divorce is not an option.
➢ Communicate with your spouse – most couples are afraid to communicate on a deeper level and settle for a very surface relationship while each craves deeper intimacy. This is due to the fear of being vulnerable with each other and risking your heart.
➢ Resolve conflict – be open to how your spouse feels conflicted or frustrated. Even if you don’t agree with them, hear them out and work together peacefully to resolve the issue, feeling or thought.
➢ Learn to Forgive – Since marriage is a 24/7 deal, we will hurt each other. Learn to talk about the hurt and forgive quickly.
➢ Have a grateful heart- say “thank you “ often. Be grateful for the little things. Express your gratitude.
➢ Be faithful – Another person may “look” like the grass is greener on the other side. Just remember, the “other” person does not know what it is like to live with you. There is no better way than working on the marriage you are in.
➢ Show love- Do you know how your spouse feels love? Find out…ask them…and then love them the way they like to be loved.
➢ Be sacrificial – Remember life is not about “you”. It is about how we love others and put ourselves on the back burner.
➢ Remember: “You are on the same team!!” You are not enemies, but allies. Having that perspective brings more peace and less defensiveness.
➢ Don’t play the blame game. Neither of you are perfect. Own up to your weaknesses and don’t play the blame game.
➢ Be a servant in your marriage – Most people want to be served and forget that the greatest satisfaction comes from giving of yourself. You both should be stumbling over who can serve the other more.
➢ Respect each other – You are very different from each other and created uniquely. Appreciate who your spouse is and learn to respect your differences. You might learn something!!
➢ Don’t try and change your spouse – All of us need to work on ourselves. The ultimate is being in a marriage where we can face and be honest about where we need to change and love each other through it. So many focus on changing our spouse and we fail to acknowledge where we need to change.
➢ Make love often – sex is important in marriage. Marriages crumble when making love is taken out of the equation
➢ Laugh! Marriage should be fun, not a drudgery. Lighten up and enjoy each other!
➢ MEN: Listen to your wives. They want you to listen to them, not fix their problem or fix them. Even if you don’t agree, listen and hear their heart.
➢ MEN: Date your wife. Each of you wants to feel loved and cherished by the one you love. Plan special times
➢ MEN: Ask your wife “how you two are doing”. Many men are blindsided and don’t realize things are going wrong in their marriage until it is too late
➢ MEN – Give your wife a safe place to come. Is she afraid to come to you? Are you critical, condescending, or defensive?
➢ WOMEN – Don’t be a nag. Think before you speak. Be supportive. Listen to your husband and hear his heart.
➢ WOMEN – Show your husband respect. The greatest gift we can give our husbands is respect. When he knows you respect him, it is easy for him to love you!!

Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs

Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs are authors, speakers, and Biblical counselors, not LPC's. Their writings include the widely used book I Do Again, which chronicles their thirty-year story of marriage, betrayal, infidelity, divorce, emotional damage and scarring, forgiveness, reconciliation, trust, and remarriage to each other. Jeff and Cheryl are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries in Dallas. They speak at conferences and weekend worship services in churches across the nation, sharing their love story of hope, redemption, restoration, and God taking hold of their lives. See their website: www.hopeformarriages.com.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Kristen Pyle

    Thanks, Cheryl, for that encouragement. On my heart this week is this: if God can reconcile my wretched, evil heart to His own through the blood of His perfect son, why do we think He can’t reconcile two people who loved each other enough to vow to stay together and love each other forever? He can, and will and does!

  2. Cheryl Scruggs

    Amen sister……..

  3. gingersnapsteph

    Cheryl, What would you say on a list of tips for dating couples? In what ways does this look the same and in what ways should it be different? (In a Godly relationship that is!) Thanks, Steph

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