Your thought life can kill your marriage…

Let’s have a discussion……..
We are studying the book “Renovation of the Heart”, by Dallas Willard, in our home group every other Sunday night. Tonight we talked about our thought life and how it affects our lives and our actions. I sat there with so much to say, but didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if once I started talking I would sob or I just would not be able to put into words what I felt. (plus there just wasn’t enough time)

Being involved in couples lives on a daily basis and seeing the deterioration of marriages all around us, I was consumed with the “thought” about how our thoughts can kill our marriage. One of our goals in marriage ministry is helping couples “think differently” about marriage, even when they are in a bad place.


Like for instance with the husband, and meditating on Ephesians 5 about “loving your wife like Christ loved the church”. So “think” about this……….what in the heck does that mean? And what about being a spiritual covering for your wife or being a servant leader? Our thoughts on these will determine our actions.

And ladies, what about the 1 Peter passage on being a gentle and quiet spirit? Or Ephesians on respecting your husband? Or what about Prov 31 on being a wife of noble character? What happens to you as you think on these things?

Let’s be honest about our thoughts………..there are sooooo many more in marriage. And what about the small stuff that becomes big in your mind, then finds its way into your heart? What are you doing with your thoughts?

Let’s chat……………

Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs

Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs are authors, speakers, and Biblical counselors, not LPC's. Their writings include the widely used book I Do Again, which chronicles their thirty-year story of marriage, betrayal, infidelity, divorce, emotional damage and scarring, forgiveness, reconciliation, trust, and remarriage to each other. Jeff and Cheryl are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries in Dallas. They speak at conferences and weekend worship services in churches across the nation, sharing their love story of hope, redemption, restoration, and God taking hold of their lives. See their website:

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Rachelle

    Everything starts with our thoughts. They can be extremely disobedient children, but we must control them!Great post, Cheryl. Keep it up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *